53 Years Without Marilyn.

Officially, August 5th 1962 marks the death of an incredibly beautiful soul, Marilyn Monroe. Technically, Marilyn died around 10pm on the night of August 4th, but she was found in the early hours of the 5th and that is classed as her official day of death.

Marilyn's first assignment as a Hostess at an Idusty Show for The Blue Book Modelling Agency in 1945.
Marilyn’s first assignment as a Hostess at an Industy Show for The Blue Book Modelling Agency in 1945.

Sadly over the years, so much fascination and conspiracy has became attached to Marilyn’s death that it can be incredibly hard for fans to talk about. I, like many, like to focus on her amazing life and what she achieved. Personally, it’s sad to say that so many people love conspiracies and controversy and when a person is no longer with us, it’s easy to sell and tarnish their name. Marilyn had a history of suicide attempts and without the likes of Arthur Miller, Natasha Lytess and Paula Strasberg, she may have left us a lot earlier. However, I firmly believe that her death was an accident, primarily down to Medical Negligence. If you follow my Marilyn Tumblr or have read my previous post on Marilyn, you’ll know how little time I have for slandering or Marilyn, I stick with substance and legitimate research.

Marilyn by Richard Miller in 1946.
Marilyn by Richard Miller in 1946.

I don’t want this post to focus on Marilyn’s death, I wanted to write this post to emphasize what an incredible impact one person has made on so many people. Over fifty years after her death, Marilyn thankfully, shows no signs of going anywhere. Although some would say her name and image is being exploited for money, I am thankful to say that there are so many people out there that absolutely adore this beautiful lady. Thanks to Marilyn I have met so many special people, she has given me so much and has helped me through a lot of personal struggles.

Marilyn by Andre de Dienes in August 1949.
Marilyn by Andre de Dienes in August 1949.

Since finding Marilyn at aged 17 in October 2010, I have made it my aim to see past the beautiful Bombshell image and learn about what a sweet, kind, gentle, witty person Marilyn was. When I think of Marilyn, I always think of her as a Beautiful Soul, not only was her beauty breathtaking, but her nature and heart were just as special. Some may say I am biased and that’s fair enough, I probably am, however, I do admit that even someone as amazing as Marilyn had her flaws. But to me, this makes her even more unique and I embrace and accept her as she really was.

Marilyn by David Cicero in 1951.
Marilyn by David Cicero in 1951.

Sadly, so many people see Marilyn as a Tragic Figure, who died young and didn’t have much to offer other than a pretty face and figure. This is because Society seems to find it hard to grasp that a beautiful woman can be so much more than that, we all have to learn to never judge a book  by it’s cover. Marilyn was always striving to learn and improve herself, an avid reader, she could put us all to shame with her extensive library of over 400 books, ranging from Russian Literature to Psychology. She suffered with Mental Illnesses; Anxiety and  Depression and she was also plagued with Insomnia and Endometriosis. Yet, during her career, she never let any of these fears or illnesses stand in her way, anyone who watches her on film would not think for a second of how much emotional pain she went through. When she passed, so many people couldn’t understand how a beautiful, young and successful lady could take her own life – at the time Marilyn’s death was listed as, “Probable Suicide.”

Marilyn at The Foreign Press Association of Hollywoods First International Film Festival on January 26th 1952.
Marilyn at The Foreign Press Association of Hollywoods First International Film Festival on January 26th 1952.

When I found Marilyn in October 2010, through reading Vanity Fair magazine – she was on the cover and the article was publicizing the wonderful book, Fragments, little did I know that I was months away from a Nervous Breakdown. My Anxiety and Depression became so bad that I could no longer go to Sixth Form and I was suffering from Panic Attacks, I was on the verge of becoming Agoraphobic. However, through Marilyn, I found comfort and ultimately, a Guardian Angel. I could watch her films and read about her and I wouldn’t feel so alone and hopeless, even when she was in this depths of despair – she always had hope.

Marilyn by Milton Greene in 1954.
Marilyn by Milton Greene in 1954.

“I believe in myself, even my most delicate, intangible feelings.” – Fragments.

“I will be as sensitive as I am, without being ashamed of it.” – Fragments.

“Maybe I’ll never be able to do what I hope to, but at least I have hope.” – Love, Marilyn
 
“I think you’ve got to love people, all kinds of people, to be able to have an opinion about them that’s worth anything. The whole idea of judging people is crazy. We do what we have to do, and we pay for it. We’re no better than we have to be. We can try to be better, and part of trying is not to condemn other people.” – to Journalist W.J. Weatherby in 1960.

Marilyn by Hal Berg in 1955.
Marilyn by Hal Berg in 1955.

In August 2012, it was to be Marilyn’s Fiftieth Anniversary and an incredible Marilyn Fan Club; Immortal Marilyn, were arranging a five day Marilyn themed event in Hollywood. I dreamed with all of my heart of going to Hollywood, placing my Hand Prints in Marilyn’s, visiting her Crypt at Westwood Memorial Park and visiting her Home. However, I thought it was an impossible task, emotionally, 2011 had been the hardest of my life so far. My Mental Health was so bad that I couldn’t go to University and I was very lonely and cynical about my life. Thankfully, I had the wonderful support and understanding of my parents and as always, Marilyn was my light in the dark. My parents knew how important this would be for me and a huge step in my recovery and very kindly arranged for me to go with my wonderful Mum.

Marilyn by Sam Shaw in 1957.
Marilyn by Sam Shaw in 1957.

To prepare for the trip my Dad had to drive me to the Airport multiple times to get me used to the idea and prepare me. I was having Therapy weekly also, but we all still didn’t know if I would be able to do this. When the day came – August 1st 2012, I was absolutely terrified, but I kept thinking of Marilyn and all that she had went through, as depressing as it sounds, I wasn’t living a life at the time and this was my hope, my chance to achieve something important to me and start recovering, that’s how I managed to do it. 

Marilyn at Nikita Kruschevs Luncheon at Twentieth Century Fox in September 1959.
Marilyn at Nikita Kruschev’s Luncheon at Twentieth Century Fox in September 1959.

Since October 2010, I have built up a blog dedicated to Marilyn, on Tumblr and Instagram called, alwaysmarilynmonroe. Marilyn has done so much for me, I’ve made so many amazing friends and moved forward so much since those horrible days in 2011. I bet wherever Marilyn is she would find it astounding to realize the impact she has had on society, on so many people and myself. Her star shows no signs of diminishing and frankly, it never should.

Marilyn by Erich Hartmann filming The Misfits in 1960.
Marilyn by Erich Hartmann filming The Misfits in 1960.

Marilyn achieved so much in her thirty six years, she was one of the first women to created her own Production Company in Hollywood. She spoke candidly and always looked for equality, she was very ahead of her time and I’m so thankful that she blessed us with her presence. I bet the Norma Jeane Baker, born illegitimate in a time of prejudice, with no father to support her and a mother who suffered incredibly through most of her life with Paranoid Schizophrenia, never thought she would become the worlds most loved Movie Star. She had many different homes, one of them being an Orphanage and after the first seven years of her life with The Bolender Family, never felt stability or love. She grew up dreaming that Clark Gable was her father and could she have imagined, she was to star with him in her last completed film, The Misfits.

Marilyn at the Golden Globe Awards were she received, "World Female Favourite" award in March 1962.
Marilyn at the Golden Globe Awards were she received, “World Female Favourite” award in March 1962.

Links:

alwaysmarilynmonroe – Instagram
alwaysmarilynmonroe – Tumblr
51yearswithoutmarilyn
52yearswithoutmarilyn
ourmarilynmonroe
eternalmarilynmonroe
immortalmarilyn.com
marilynmonroecollection

“I cannot say goodbye. Marilyn never liked goodbyes, but in the peculiar way she had of turning things around so that they faced reality – I will say au revoire. For the country to which she has gone, we must all someday visit. – Lee Strasberg’s Eulogy for Marilyn on 8th August 1962.

Magazines covering Marilyn's death in August 1962.
Magazines covering Marilyn’s death in August 1962.

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8 thoughts on “53 Years Without Marilyn.

  1. so nicely done & amazing share of your personal struggles & how instrumental studying her life helped you. I was a child when I saw her but she also was bigger then life to me & I could only wish that I could of known her . keep up your good attitude she is the wind on your back & im sure she loves you too make it a best one always

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